Always tackle difficult issues in your relationship or marriage with maturity.
In our society today, it has been obvious that youths of our age don't know how to manage relationship or marriage and is the most reason some don't want to get marry. As a young man bitterly said, know relationship or marriage would ever be like the days of our parents.
At first, relationship is the coming together of man and a woman for the sole purpose of having a nice time or a happy home. After long dating you still can't manage your differences before it due, you get married afterward then what happen after marriage it be came a different route entirely that know one seems to have a valid explanation for the catastrophic. Everyone wishes to have a family with a happier home; but how can we achieve this purpose, is it by fighting,quarreling or by using abusive words. Absolutely I say no! but to Achieve this you must be tolerance, understanding and maturity minded.
Marriage or relationship is not a competitive home whereby both party decide who take the most responsibilities. In Africa, we believe that it is the responsibility of the man to cater for his family and that is why we left every responsibility to him.Its absolutely wrong thinking that way, is a sole responsibilities for both parties as a husband and wife and in a state where there is a linkage is also the duty of the wife to fill that gap. by the time you started chairing the house duty and he or she cannot be able to meet this demand as expected, then it started giving birth to issues and when these issues are miss manage, then it escalate afterward, it then give birth to a broken home. One of the question I expect couples to ask themselves is how do you see your wife and how did your husband sees you? if your view is seeing her as a street woman or a street man then there wouldn't be agreement between you guys but if as at your viewing you sees each other as husband and wife then I assure you that understanding will definitely come.
Tolerance, everyone messes up in relationships or and has peaks and valleys in their personal lives. When I realized it wasn't the end of the world and I would keep on standing, I knew it was going to be OK. Tolerate, endure for no relationship is perfect. I believe relationship to be an institution of learning and that is the most reason you learning. You get angry when she uses abusive words on you then it will seems to you as someone has putting the ruff on fire; not so, swallow it and later call her to order she will listen to you. In marriages, always avoid using abusive words. There was this lucky day I was with my friend and he had a slit issue with his wife, there where both exchanging words and the only point i could pick at out of the mess was that I heard my friend telling his wife that if this repeat itself again that she will pack out of his house and the wife replied him that we have been hearing that, that moment I feel sorry for him because he has no idea what that word means. the word means, at that moment you mention that she will leave your house, in spiritual seeing that was the moment you divorce her even if the case is settle she still have that believe of you said, she will pack out of your house. The only tolerance in the world the only tolerance that earns the name, is that toward tolerances.
Communication, how often do you communicate, do you create time for that? create time for communication which I see as a key to every relationship. talks even if you are not in the mood, jokes these are what brings happiness to most home. if you and your partner always quarreling, fighting. it means that you are not listening to each other and therefore you are not hearing each other. when you don't feel heard,you shout louder, which only create more anger and more tension, less listening and the fighting escalate. what you need at this state is speak out, communicate what upsetting you in way that is easy for each other to hear. try to sit like adults and air and discus your issues with other. you must approach the issue with high level of maturity. there must be no screaming, yelling and shouting etc. Remember people are out there watching you,want to hear ugly issue from your home, want to see how you guys are not getting along but is better you handle your issue than taken it outside the marital covenant. Don't expect me to tells you that you are right or she is wrong or expecting anyone to say she is right and you are wrong. no one is going to pay you or compensate you. you should have the believe that the only constant things in life is change, when change then you also need to change and always tackle issues before it due.
May God bless every relationship and marriages. (((((((((((Amen))))))))).
